I’m Afraid I Have a Weird Phobia.
Or is everyone scared of the Delaware Water Gap?
Back in college, psychology was my minor. I had at least one psychology class each semester. I loved these classes.
“Abnormal Psychology” was my favorite. One lasting takeaway was when my professor said, “I think people without anxiety are really boring.”
Many of us in the class breathed a sigh of relief.
One day, the professor started his lecture with the case of a young woman who had an overpowering and unusual phobia. She was so afraid of vegetables that she couldn’t stay seated at a dinner table if they were being served.
How did this phobia become such a powerful and disruptive force in her life?
Here’s the Abbreviated Case Study
When the young woman was in high school, a boy inappropriately touched her. Shortly afterward, she developed a fear of a houseplant with large leaves. Therapy revealed that the leaves on the plant reminded the girl of the boy’s hands. The untreated phobia generalized—meaning the anxiety expanded to include other objects. Soon the phobia spread to a fear of all plants. Eventually, the girl’s fear grew to include lettuce and other green vegetables. Happily, therapy made it possible for her to return to living a phobia-free life.
In a future blog post, I will discuss why phobias form and different treatments.
But today I want to share an unusual phobia of mine. It’s OK if it makes you giggle. In fact, just about everyone I have ever told about this has laughed out loud. It’s not that my friends and family are insensitive–it’s just that even I recognize the absurdity of this fear. It’s just one of those quirks that makes me, me.
However, it’s important to know that phobias can devastate and are not something to laugh at ordinarily. If a friend or family member ever confides in you about a phobia, they may well be reaching out for help.
My Phobia Began During a Simple Drive
In the early years of our marriage, my husband and I took many trips to visit my in-laws. We lived in Northern New Jersey and my in-laws lived in Racine, Wisconsin. If the weather cooperated, and we didn’t unknowingly lose all our cash at an Indiana Turnpike rest stop, it was a pleasant two-day drive.
(Yes, once we were trapped on the Indiana Turnpike with no cash to pay the exit toll. Finally, the state police let us write a check.)
The first leg of our journey was always a scenic drive through New Jersey and Pennsylvania. My husband and I had traveled this way several times on meandering country drives. This included enjoying the awe-inspiring beauty of the Delaware Water Gap—also known as the “Gateway to the Poconos.”
The Poconos are a group of Pennsylvania mountains near the New Jersey border. They are a popular vacation destination. In fact, years ago, my parents first met at a resort in the Poconos.
How Did the Delaware Water Gap Develop?
Today, the Delaware Water Gap National Recreational Area offers many outdoor activities, including fishing, camping, hiking, rock climbing and rafting. There are almost 70,000 acres of incredible scenery for 40 miles along the Delaware River.
The Delaware Water Gap formed over hundreds of millions of years from erosion and structural weakness in the rock forming the Appalachian Mountains.
The Delaware Water Gap now looks like a distinctive notch in the Appalachian Mountains. You can see it from miles away. Up close you can witness its lush green hills and occasionally bare craggy rock walls. The Delaware River still runs through it.
So, What Happened on That Fateful Day?
I’m not exactly sure what happened. But something did.
I think it was this.
We were starting our trip to Wisconsin. It was a crisp, cloudless day. The countryside in New Jersey was striking; you could see clearly for miles. (I don’t think that helped.) We were cruising down Rt. 80 and I saw the advancing gap in the distance. No problem. I was enjoying the ride. So far, nothing about the trip was unusual.
I was sitting in the front passenger seat. After about 25 minutes, the road we were on took a sharp turn to the right. Nothing new. I must have been looking at a paper on my lap. But I looked up at just the wrong moment . . . and there, RIGHT NEXT TO ME, was an unbelievably tall, craggy rock wall. IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! It continued to run along the right side of our car. I suddenly felt petrified.
I don’t remember if I said anything. I might have closed my eyes as we traveled through the Water Gap. Luckily, there wasn’t any traffic, and the entire drive took about seven minutes. Thankfully, we made it through without being attacked again. So, what if it had stood there for millions of years? Had the Gap suddenly become capable of jumping out and scaring people?
I didn’t understand my reaction; we had driven that way many times. But the feeling lingered.
I knew that after our four-day stay in Racine, we would have to travel back through the Delaware Water Gap. Days later, I happily learned that when you approach the Gap from the Pennsylvania side, you only see a large mountain wall of evergreens in the distance. It made me feel uncomfortable. But I found it to be bearable, bordering on pleasant.
Can’t Find This Phobia Listed, but It’s Awfully Real to Me
Based on the level of anxiety I felt on the trip home, I knew I had developed a fear of driving through the Delaware Water Gap. But I knew this fear was irrational, and that it had to be a phobia. Clearly, the wall would not jump out and hurt me. But it was going to appear suddenly in my vision, and that bothered me. I knew it would be great if I never had to travel that road again. But living where we did in New Jersey, I knew that wasn’t practical.
I took that same route several more times. And for days ahead, I would dread that moment in the turn when the rock wall would suddenly appear. The funny thing was, I always enjoyed seeing the rest of the Gap. It was just that moment of the wall appearing.
Facing My Fear
I knew phobias become stronger if you let them affect your behavior. So, I would take that car ride again whenever I had to. It helped to ask Bob to give me advanced warning about when the turn in the road was about to happen. That way I could close my eyes and wouldn’t have to experience that dreaded moment.
The phobia eased some after I had to drive through the Delaware Water Gap four times in one overcast day. We had to bring our Chinese Crested puppy to a specific vet for hernia surgery. I discovered that if the day was overcast, the rock wall also appeared to be muted and less oppressive.
However, the phobia generalized. Some shorter rock walls, like the kind you pass through on highway underpasses, caused anxiety. For several years, we lived at a lovely complex which had a lake bordered by a much shorter rock wall (of about 25 feet) at one end. Seeing this every day caused anxiety at first, but by the time we moved, I had grown to love the lake and all its scenery.
The Definition of a Phobia
According to the American Psychiatric Association, a phobia is “a persistent and irrational fear of a specific situation, object, or anxiety, which is consequently either strenuously avoided or endured with marked distress.” Link https://dictionary.apa.org/phobia In short, it’s a fear of something that is very unlikely to cause you any harm.
Do You Have a Phobia?
I know phobias can cause people great unhappiness, stress, feelings of alienation and further trauma. I don’t take this subject lightly.
But luckily, I can take my phobia lightly, because it’s not one that I have to face every day. In fact, since we moved to Pennsylvania, I haven’t had to travel through the Water Gap once! Yay, Rt. 202!
Although, I admit I thought twice about looking for images for this blog post. I didn’t want to have a scary rock formation suddenly jump out of me from my laptop screen.
Oh. That may be a totally different phobia.
Good news about phobias.
Many people have phobias—perhaps 30% of the population. If a phobia is interfering with your life, causing you undue stress, or encouraging you to make behavioral changes you don’t want to make, seek treatment. There is lots of help out there to overcome phobias.
In a future blog post, I will talk about phobias, how they develop, and how to defeat them.
In the meantime, do you have an unusual phobia that you would like to share? And if you share a phobia of The Delaware Water Gap, please let me know!
